Dat witte spul

Toen het hier de eerste keer sneeuwde deze winter stuurde iemand me het volgende verhaaltje. Ik voel me zo stilaan rond 20 december...

Dec 8 5PM: It started to snow, our first of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat by the window, watching the flakes drift down all over the area. It was beautiful!

Dec 9 We awoke to a big beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering the landscape. What a fantastic sight!! Every tree and shrub covered with a beautiful white mantel. I shoveled snow for the first in years, and I loved it. I did both the driveway and the sidewalk. Later the snowplow came along and covered up our sidewalk with compacted snow from the street, so I shoveled again.

Dec 12 The sun melted all the lovely snow. Oh well, I’m sure we will get some more before the lovely winter is through.

Dec 14 It snowed 8 inches last night and the temperature dropped to 20 degrees below zero. Shoveled the driveway and the sidewalk again and the snowplow came and did its trick again.

Dec 15 Sold my Van and bought a 4x4 Blazer so I can drive in the snow. Bought snow tires for the wife’s car.

Dec 16 Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway. All that was hurt was my feelings.

Dec 17 Still cold (below zero in the AM) and icy roads make for very tough driving.

Dec 20 Had another 4 inches of white shit last night. More shoveling in store for me today. That goddamn snowplow came by twice.

Dec 22 We are assured of a white Christmas because 3 more inches of the white shit fell today, and with the freezing weather it won’t melt until August. Got all dressed up to go out and shovel (boots, jump suit, heavy jacket, scarf, ear muffs, gloves, etc.) and then got the urge to pee!!

Dec 23 Was going to go ice fishing today, but the worms froze solid.

Dec 24 If I ever catch the son-of-a-bitch that drives that snowplow, I’ll drag him through the snow by the balls. I think he hides around the corner and wits for me to finish snow shoveling and then comes down the street 100 miles per hour and throws snow all over what used to be my lawn.

Dec 25 Merry Christmas!! They predict 8 more inches of the f….white stuff tonight. To hell with Santa, he doesn’t have to shovel that white shit. The snowplow driver came by asking for a donation. I hit him over the head with the snow shovel!!

Dec 26 We got 8 inches and then some. I must be going snow-blind or have a severe case of cabin fever because the wife is beginning to look good to me.

Dec 27 The toilet froze. If I go outside, don’t eat the yellow snow.

De 28 I set the house on fire. Now I won’t have to shovel that white shit off the roof.